Meditation Thursday 3.5.12

Tonight I expect a small group again, as one of our members is on holidays, another is nursing a sick husband and yet another is attending a work function. However, I plan to lead the group with a reading from a blog, Mystic Meandering I followed some time ago and have not reconnected with lately.

The post was titled Inner Compass from 16.1.11 and it has intrigued me for some time. I copied it last year when I was feeling somewhat directionless but have never had the opportunity to share it before.

Update 6.5.12

I did share this blog post, we had 1 more member than expected and interesting discussion following our meditation session. 

None of the group liked the idea of being directionless, all agreed that this is a frightening concept.  One of our number shared that having no direction can be a symptom of depression, another said that she always wanted to feel she had some control over her actions at all times. We all agreed that the idea of doing nothing and waiting is somehow foreign to us all.

I concluded the discussion with a quote which seemed to sum up for me the idea of waiting and doing nothing:

"Always remember deep in your heart that all is well and everything is unfolding as it should.  There are no mistakes anywhere, at any time.  What appears to be wrong is simply your own false imagination.  That's all..."  ~Robert Adams  (Silence of the Heart Vol 1).

Marathon

( Exploring the legend of Marathon ....

Was it during the Spartan Wars?

Did the messenger run the distance (26 miles?) to deliver the news of the approaching army and then drop dead?

Why do we train for this race nowadays?

What outcomes do we expect?)

A marathon is run over a distance of 42km and just the thought of running so far causes my legs to turn to jelly and my chest to ache. I have never been a confident runner, but when I did run as a child I much preferred to sprint a short distance to get it over with rather than run slower over a longer distance.

I find it impossible to imagine ever wanting to train in preparation for something so momentous as a marathon. Why would a person want to push themselves to such extremes of pain? Why would a person willingly endure such pain and anguish?

Even if you began to train some 6 months in advance it would be disheartening to know that at the end of the marathon you would still feel absolutely exhausted, drained and tired.

I understand the idea of going to a gym and gradually seeing an improvement in overall fitness, but the thought of athletics training is way too daunting for me.

I know that athletes push themselves to go through the pain barrier beyond which they then reach a state of euphoria. However, I cannot envisage being able to push myself so far. 

What am I afraid of? 

Is it the exhaustion which I know I will feel after I have exerted myself? 

Or am I merely questioning why a person would feel the need to push his/her body so far?

Sunday Scribbling #316 - Marathon

24.4.12 Timer set for 15 minutes

Meditation Thursday 26.4.12

This week we had a small group of only 5 people and I lead with a reading from Susan Piver on confidence http://www.susanpiver.com/wordpress/page/2/?s=buddhism+and+real+life.

I found this blog post quite insightful and I appreciated the advice that Susan gives - "don't try to fight the lack of self confidence, instead relax and allow it. This relaxing enables you to become more confident. Think of your mind as the sky which can contain all sorts of thoughts, helpful and unhelpful."

Small Stone 21.1.12

My dreams have been so vivid. 

But recalling the snippets is difficult.

My mother continues to influence my actions from the grave.

The same feeling of helplessness returns ...

And all I want is her approval.

Rest

Rest – what does it mean? 

It’s not necessarily relaxation, which implies a purposeful action as in, “I’m off to meditate now to try and relax”, or the idea that you must achieve relaxation before you move on to something else.

On the other hand, you can have a rest at any time of day; the rest can be a ‘little rest’ or a ‘long rest’, and it usually happens in the midst of some activity or other.

I like to have a rest most afternoons, sometimes in my chair while I read or watch TV, and sometimes I lie on the bed and read. 

To me, a rest is a quiet interlude, preferably lying down, wherein I can do something else like reading or writing and know that I will be rested and refreshed when I get up. 

Sometimes I feel the need for a much needed rest and if I cannot achieve this I find myself becoming fuzzy-headed and short tempered. 

I have often found that I  fall asleep when I have a ‘rest’ and then sleep too long and wake up feeling quite thick-headed and dopey. The feeling persists for some time after I wake, and I curse myself for sleeping too long as I know it  will be hard to go to sleep in the evening.

I sometimes want a break from an intensive situation with lots of talk and noise which exacerbate my feelings of introversion and so feel I need a rest. If I can get away and have some quiet time (whether I am able to lie down or not), I know that in a half hour or so I can return to the situation better able to cope. 

I am convinced that being able to retreat or regroup (and rest!) is preferable to remaining in a stressful situation where my coping skills would be tested to the extreme.

(Sunday scribbling blog #306:

You can take this in one of two ways. You can tell us the rest of the story or you can talk about much needed rest.)

 13.3.12 (Timer set for 20 minutes)