... easing into semi-retirement, having lots of creative adventures and enjoying being a (relatively) new Granny.

Sunday 5 April 2015

Red roses



Pop Kendall had a very minimal garden – whatever survived was hardy and thrived on little or no care. He did however have a rose bush that produced the most beautiful, strongly scented red blooms every year.

Peter was not given to romantic gestures but I do remember one time he came to pick me up for a dinner date carrying a bunch of red roses, open and beaming and flooding the surrounds with strong rose perfume. It was a spontaneous gesture on his part which totally won me over.

Since that day I have always sought out red roses with a strong perfume, perhaps because of the memories I associate with that random act of generosity.


Red roses for
True love.
The heady perfume
Floods the senses
And imprints
For the future.
Now I always seek out
Full flowering roses
To remind me
Of that bunch of roses
So many years ago.
25.7.13


Saturday 4 April 2015

My godmother




Enid was my godmother and I have a photo taken on the day of my baptism of me with Enid and my godfather Arthyr. I know that she was Mum’s best friend, they played hockey together in Canberra and Enid was chief bridesmaid at her wedding.


Enid was a very creative person who excelled at drawing. As a child I remember receiving birthday cards and presents, with the envelope always decorated with Enid's signature drawing of a cartoon figure. 

I vaguely remember seeing her throughout my early childhood and I definitely remember travelling to Canberra for Mum and Dad to go to a wedding and Carol and I being minded by Enid and her mother. I have a feeling that at least one of us (probably me!) was inconsolable at being “abandoned” and so to distract us Enid taught us to play croquet. 
Whenever I am in Canberra and drive past the croquet lawn at the Hyatt Hotel I always think of Enid and that croquet game. Sadly, I have no recollection of how to play croquet except that the mallet is held in both hands and the ball is struck in a forward motion.


She gave Mum and Dad a blue Moorcroft bowl as a wedding present so she obviously had an artist’s eye for collectable items. She didn’t think to tell Mum how special the bowl was, even in those days, so Mum used it as an everyday fruit bowl until a visitor who obviously knew her English china was horrified and told her to treat it more carefully. Mum had the bowl valued a few years before she died and was very pleased with the appraisal she got, although she never shared that with me. When we were clearing out Mum's home I was extremely thrilled to find a white sticker on the underside of the bowl with my name on it. Now it sits in pride of place on my dining room table in memory of Mum and Enid.


After we moved to Goulburn in 1961 I don’t ever remember seeing Enid again and I have often wondered why. What happened between her and Mum? Was it a major rift between them or did they just drift apart and have less in common as Mum had 3 children and Enid never married or had children? 
In spite of any differences they might have had I was disappointed that Mum did not invite her to my wedding. Mum’s mother, Daisy, trying to be helpful and not bother anyone too much, contacted Enid assuming she was also invited and asked her for a lift to Goulburn for the day. I don’t know how Mum got around that embarrassing omission but I know that Enid was not at our wedding.


Enid died tragically in about 1973 as she was driving to Victoria for Christmas with her brother and family. I don’t know all the details but I think it was a single vehicle accident on the Hume Highway; when she was found her dog was still in the car with her. The thought of that faithful dog waiting patiently by her side for her to wake up still makes me feel sad. 
I know that Mum and Dad made a special trip to Enid’s funeral in Victoria and I wonder if she did that to make up for losing touch with her once best friend.
14.8.13

Friday 3 April 2015

Roadblocks



Why do I have so much trouble actually writing down my exact thoughts at a particular time?
Is it that I automatically self censor as I write?
 
Perhaps this is why I prefer to handwrite so that I can censor as I go. 
Who knows?

I just know that I have to try and get more into the moment and write what is in my mind.

How can I do this?

I have tried to expand some of the stories I gave to Connie as she suggested, but all I have really done is made corrections and rewritten some small pieces to sound better. Still no teasing out of the initial writing to make it more meaningful.

Perhaps I need to sit here with the original story saved as a second copy and just let myself get into the zone where I can keep on writing and writing, even without checking what I am writing, exactly as I am doing at the moment.

I wonder if that would work.

I could also take my chosen word for the day and sit at the PC for 10 minutes just writing whatever comes into my head.
22.11.13

Thursday 2 April 2015

Mirrors in the Change Room



Today I saw my ageing self

Reflected in the multiple mirrors

Of a Target change room.



The sight was sobering:

I saw varicose veins normally not seen,

A much thicker waist than ever expected,

And cellulite thighs I usually try to ignore.



Since then I have felt quite down.

As if for some time

I have deluded myself

About my imagined youth,

But now

I have glimpsed my mortality.

17.1.14