I chose this topic initially because I wanted to explore my feelings about which method I preferred. My first thoughts were that I preferred handwriting: the look of a clean page of a journal or a fresh sheet of paper; the deliberation of which pen to write with - does it have the ‘right’ feel about it? Does it write smoothly? Is the colour the one I want today?
But there is a downside to handwriting which I had tried to overlook in my sentimentality for the pen and ink. I wanted to ignore the fact that when I sit for too long and write for too long my advanced years most definitely catch up with me – my right arm begins to ache, my hand spasms and my shoulder and neck complain loudly, and I know that I will suffer for some considerable time afterwards.
Then I come to the real point which has been niggling away at the edges of my consciousness for some time: I now think I need to word process rather than handwrite because my handwriting is deteriorating and I find it hard to write anything more than a few lines comfortably and legibly. Drilling down further, I come to real point of what is concerning me – is Parkinson’s disease hereditary and if so, do I perhaps have the beginning of it? My father always had distinctive handwriting and I remember how spidery his writing became as his health declined. I jokingly tell people that I often check that my outstretched hand does not shake, but now I begin to wonder if there is some truth in my imagined fear.
If I were to be diagnosed with Parkinson’s I wonder if I would be able to cope with the indignities associated with the disease. Perhaps this line of thought has come up since watching Australian Story recently about the man with Alzheimer’s disease who supposedly committed suicide before it became too hard for him. Would I be brave enough to live with the disease or would I try to end it?
Writing Exercise 24.3.09
No comments:
Post a Comment